Episode 290

#291 - You Ask, We Answer #51

00:00:00
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00:57:49

February 23rd, 2022

57 mins 49 secs

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About this Episode

Our monthly episode of You Ask, We Answer; where we take time to listen to our audiences questions, select top trending picks, and answer them on the show.

Question 1:
My tentative wedding date is the day before my parents 40th wedding anniversary. I want to do something to honor them, but not sure what would be best! Do you have any ideas or suggestions?

Answer 1:
Surprise slideshows are always sweet and romantic. Sometimes people will bring in a specialty cake that might be the parent’s favorite. Before you cut into the cake, you can announce your parents’ anniversary and bring out their special cake or allow the parents to be the ones to cut the cake! You can also have an anniversary dance just for the parents. Bring vintage wedding photos of your parents as you can find.

Question 2:
Best way to help my anxiety on my wedding weekend?

Answer 2:
Not being able to see your person before your wedding day can actually cause excess anxiety. It might be worth dropping the traditions that make you stressed out. Sometimes you just have to do what makes your feel comfortable, find the norm. Escape the wedding party for a few minutes, take a breath, and lean on your wedding planner when things make you crazy. The further you get away from your day to day norm can make you more anxious, so find the little things that you normally would do to help stabilize the day. If you partake, marijuana can help a lot. Don’t mix it with alcohol of course.

Question 3:
Does it look bad to only provide transportation for the wedding party and not all guests?

Answer 3:
This is hard question to answer. It really depends so much on venue, location, number of guests, etc. If you can’t get a Lyft or an uber in that spot, you should consider providing transportation. One thing to consider is that guests (if they have traveled) have probably been drinking, it might be worth considering cars for that reason.
It is not weird to not offer it to anyone other than the party.

Question 4:
Should we do all the eating first, and then move to dancing? Seems disjointed otherwise

Answer 4:
This is definitely the norm. In general though, people will do what you tell them to do when you tell them do it. If for some reason you have to reorder things, you can do it. You could have a full on cocktail hour and tray passed apps before the ceremony! Really you can do whatever feels right.

Question 5:
Wanting to require COVID tests upon guest arrival (in addition to showing proof of vaccination). We have over 200 guests. Ideas?

Answer 5:
This will cause a bit of bottle neck as they wait to get tested. It will take awhile. Pass out champagne! Maybe have some apps available. You need a lot of people helping to administer these tests. You can pay third party companies to come and run the whole process for you. With that many tests, it will take a lot of time.

Question 6:
Tips for layouts at the venue? I’ve got a big room but I'm unsure where to put the dance floor.

Answer 6:
Check with the venue first! Likely they have expert opinions on this. You can check with DJs and photographers that the venue uses a lot, they will for sure know what works best. If it’s a wide open room, the center is the best, it allows everyone to sit and watch people dance and jump in when they want. Keep tables away from the restrooms. Really it depends on the flow of the room.

Question 7:
I booked a venue in a forest with a garden ceremony which was amazing and gorgeous. However, the more I think about it the more I realize it's not exactly what I want. There's a venue in Portland that fits everything I'm not realizing I want, as it's in a cozy greenhouse and in the city, but I haven't seen it in person (only over video). I'm nervous that I'm going to keep changing my mind, but I feel strongly that the first venue we paid a $3K deposit on is not the one for me. Every time I have to think about making a decision on it, or start looking at inspirations, I freeze and realize it's not really right for me.

What is the best way to know what I really want? How do I stop myself from losing more money? I also don't want to offend the people who own the venue I already paid a deposit on, but I know they're super popular so I know they'll have no issue rebooking the date (they've already booked out pretty much every date for 2023), but I do want to ask for a partial refund if they can rebook.

Answer 7:
Regardless of what happens, stop looking! It’s just going to cause confusion and anxiety.
Be extremely upfront with the venue. Tell them you’ve been hasty. Before you talk to them, read the contract over and over again so you know where you stand. If you feel comfortable going to them, ask the venue what their thoughts are on it. Can they rebook it? How should you go forward?

Links We Referenced
thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/episodes/182-venue-owner-tells-all thebigweddingplanningpodcast.com/episodes/201-five-venues-across-the-country-as-we- reopen
instagram.com/thedixiebagley

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